Finding Peace: How to Process and Cope with the Deep Grief of Losing a Pet

The last blog post covered the many ways a pet is woven into our lives, and we explored the unique and profound reasons why losing a pet hurts so deeply. This second part focuses on how to cope with the grief of losing a pet. While the pain of losing a pet is significant, there are strategies and steps you can take to navigate this difficult time and eventually find peace.

It's important to remember that everyone grieves differently, in their own way and at their own pace. There is no one correct way or speed to grieve, and allowing yourself the space to experience your emotions is crucial. Be kind to yourself and grieve however you need.

Please note that the following advice is based on personal experiences and may not be suitable for everyone. Always consult with a professional if you're struggling with your grief.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognizing and accepting your emotions is crucial; it validates your experience. Grief can take many forms, from sadness and anger to guilt and physical symptoms. Allowing yourself to experience these feelings without judgment is a critical step in the healing process. Remember, bottling up emotions can prolong suffering and impact your physical health. Resist the temptation to force down your feelings. Feel your emotions, and don't be embarrassed or ashamed of them.

Give Yourself Time: Grieving is a personal process that doesn't adhere to a specific timeline. Allow yourself the time you need to mourn your pet. Don't rush the process or let others pressure you into "moving on" before you're ready. Only you experience and live your grief. You make your own timeline for healing. Understand that it's okay to have good days and bad days. Grief can come in waves; some days, you may feel more sadness than others.

Create a Ritual or Memorial: Holding a small ceremony in your pet's memory can provide a sense of closure and honor the bond you shared. These rituals can be therapeutic and help you celebrate your pet's life. Consider lighting a candle, sharing stories, or playing your pet's favorite song during the ceremony. This remembrance can help you feel connected to your pet even after they're gone.

Make a Picture Book: Compile your favorite photos and memories of your pet into a picture book. This can be a beautiful way to remember the happy times and keep their memory alive. You can include stories, anecdotes, paw prints, or fur clippings to make the book more personal and meaningful.

Get a Memorial Tattoo: Some people find comfort in getting a tattoo in memory of their pet. This permanent tribute can be a meaningful way to always carry a piece of your pet with you. Choose a design that holds special significance, such as your pet's paw print, name, or a symbol that represents them. A skilled artist can even recreate your favorite photo of them.

Plant a Garden or Tree: Planting a tree or creating a garden with a bench in your pet's name can offer a peaceful place for reflection and remembrance. This living tribute can grow and flourish like your love with your pet. You can also place a memorial stone or plaque in the garden to commemorate your pet.

Seek Support

Talk to Someone: Sharing feelings with friends, family, or a therapist can be incredibly healing. Find someone who understands the significance of your loss and can provide a listening ear and emotional support. Expressing your feelings aloud can help you process your emotions and gain perspective.

Join a Support Group: There are many support groups, both in-person and online, for people grieving the loss of a pet. These groups can offer comfort, understanding, and practical advice from others who have experienced similar losses. Hearing others' stories and sharing your own can create a sense of community and lessen feelings of isolation.

Seek Professional Help: If your grief feels overwhelming and you're struggling to cope, remember that it's okay to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapists can provide strategies to manage your grief and help you work through your emotions. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and grief counseling are particularly effective in dealing with loss. Seeking professional help can make a significant difference in your healing process, providing the support and reassurance you need. Remember, it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help, but a brave step towards healing.

Practice Self-Care

Take Care of Your Physical Health: Grieving can affect physical health. Eat well, exercise, and get plenty of rest. Physical activity can also be a helpful outlet for your emotions. Walking, yoga, or swimming can improve your mood and overall well-being.

Engage in Activities You Enjoy: While it may be challenging, try to engage in activities that bring you joy or relaxation. Hobbies, spending time in nature, or even simple pleasures like reading a book or watching a movie can provide moments of relief. These activities serve as a temporary distraction and offer a sense of normalcy. They can be a source of comfort and support during this difficult time.

Be Patient with Yourself: Grieving is complex and non-linear. Some days will be more challenging than others. Be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate your grief journey. Remember, healing takes time, and it's okay to take it slow. Allow yourself to take breaks, and don't feel guilty for needing time to heal.

Find Meaning and Closure

Reflect on Positive Memories: Focus on the joyful times you shared with your pet. Reflecting on these memories can help you appreciate the special bond you had and the happiness your pet brought into your life. Creating a gratitude list of all the things you loved about your pet can also bring comfort.

Consider Volunteering or Donating: In memory of your pet, you might find comfort in helping other animals. Volunteering at a local animal shelter or donating to a pet charity can provide a sense of purpose and connection to your pet's legacy. Your actions can make a positive impact and help you feel that your pet's memory is honored.

Adopt a New Pet (When Ready): When the time feels right, adopting a new pet can bring new joy and companionship into your life. This doesn't replace the lost pet, but it can help you heal and continue sharing your love with another needy animal. However, it's important to note that this might not be the right choice for everyone, and it's okay if you're not ready. Ensure you have sufficient time to grieve and are emotionally prepared for a new pet.

Summary of How to Cope with the Grief of Losing a Pet

By acknowledging our grief and cherishing the memories we shared with our pets, we honor their legacy and the unconditional love they gave us. Remember, it's okay to grieve deeply for your pet; the depth of your grief is a testament to the love and bond you shared. Through patience, compassion, and support, you will find a way to heal and cherish the memories of your beloved companion.

Navigating the loss of a pet is an intensely personal experience, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. By taking steps to process your emotions and seeking support, you can gradually find peace and remember your pet with fondness and love. Your journey through grief is unique, but you don't have to walk it alone. Reach out, honor your pet in ways that feel right, and give yourself the grace and time to heal.

What has helped me grieve Bear?

I talk about her every day. It keeps her close to say her name and acknowledge things that make me think of her. For now, that means I start crying. But that's okay. I feel better getting that emotion out.

I made a giant, beautiful picture book of her. It's chronological, from when I brought her home to her final days when I slept on the floor holding her paw. I cried putting it together, and I cry every time I open it. She deserves to be remembered and her life documented.

I had a ring made with paw prints and her name on it. It's inscribed on the inside with "Forever at my side." It's a tangible remembrance I can look at, touch, and display that keeps her close to me.

I'm getting her portrait tattooed on my right shoulder. She was at my side for all 15 years of her life and I'd like to keep her memory there for the rest of mine.

My soon-to-be Bear tattoo

Bear was my heart/soul dog, but our family has other dogs helping me move forward. I've been sharing things with each of them that I shared with Bear. It makes them feel special and helps fill a tiny bit of the void.

Will I get another Husky/Shepherd dog and try to build that same level of bond? No, not now, and not anytime soon. But in time, should I come across a fluffy, mangy, smelly, black-and-white puppy with glowing blue eyes who has been abandoned at a dump, there wouldn't be a breath of hesitation.